Divorced

2010.12.21
Days Remaining: 161

01. Today I officially divorced my wife of 4 years and 2 months (to the day). I met my two witnesses at noon in Providence, RI, and we had a very nice Thai lunch. We went to the courthouse (arriving 15 minutes early) and at 2pm the bailiff let us into the courtroom. Once the judge came in we had to wait for a clerk to be sent up for the hearing, but once she arrived I went through the procedural questions (name, reasons for divorce, were there any children, etc.). This took approximately 10 minutes, then the judge (who, remember, was kind enough to come in on a day off especially for this hearing after the snafu on Friday) asked me a few questions, then my witnesses were sworn in and verified that I had lived in Providence for a year, and then he rendered his judgment (saying that divorce was granted).

02. I need to file the final paperwork (I have 30 days from today in which to do so), and cannot do that until I get the transcript from the stenographer, which will be available next week (when I'm in Delaware). So when I come back up to New Aldwych at the beginning of January I'll need to drive one last time to Providence, where I'll get the transcript, fill out the paperwork, and file it. And that will be that.

03. I had a moment of difficulty when the judge asked me if there was any chance of reconciliation and I said, "No." I don't think there is, but it was a moment of absolute, no options, no return. This was the right thing to do, but I still cried a little (very quietly, and my eyes dried out almost instantly) as the judge rendered judgment and said, "The Plaintiff's petition for divorce is hereby granted." I'm so sorry that this is how things between myself and my ex-wife ended up. I remember our first email exchanges, and part of me can't believe that, 5 years later, we've been married and divorced.

04. One of my witnesses (I haven't seen her since before the separation) asked if I had kept Mo, the orange-and-white cat we adopted, and I explained that I had let him stay with my ex-wife, not desiring to separate him from her cat, Jasper. I've talked a lot more about missing Herman, the best dog in the world, but I miss my little guy, Mo, a lot as well. He just wasn't a cuddling cat, ever, and so his day-to-day absence is felt in other ways. But today I miss my cat, and I miss my dog, and I even miss my ex-wife, and the life we could have had together in a different world.

05. I was right to get a divorce, and I still have never doubted that, but I'm so very sorry that it was the right thing to do.