Divorce Update

2010.12.19
Days Remaining: 163

01. So, just to make sure everyone's up to speed, the divorce proceedings on Friday 17 December were unsuccessful because in September and October I was not provided with the correct forms by the Clerk of Family Court (with whom I've had other serious paperwork issues), and so did not know that I needed to have with me two witnesses who can swear to my having lived in Rhode Island for a year before filing. Upon investigation, the form that would have told me about this requirement is no longer regularly included in the Divorce Packet, and is available separately if one knows to ask for it. How one would do that without knowing that such a form exists is anyone's guess. The judge, who was very friendly and sympathetic, has agreed to reschedule the hearing for 2pm next Tuesday (21 December) provided I can find two witnesses. Since I don't know anyone in Providence, I asked my not-quite-ex-wife if she knew anyone in the area around Providence who would be willing to sacrifice 10 minutes of their time to swear that we lived in Providence (they literally need to be sworn in and then say, "Yes, he lived here for a year."). She was able to locate a former grad student at Brown and the now retired departmental secretary, so we're now all set. I'm going to lunch with my witnesses beforehand, and then that will be that.

02. This has been a very demoralizing experience all through, and entirely due to bureaucratic incompetence. From sheriff's offices that don't know where their county lines are located to clerks who don't know what information is needed to fill out forms to clerks who keep information out of public hands for no good reason, this has been an entirely needless nightmare. If everything had been properly organized and everyone involved were doing their jobs, I would have been able to successfully file in September, would have had time to line up witnesses ahead of time, and the hearing would have taken place last month. As it is, I'm now delaying my holiday departure to Delaware by a day to do the 2nd take on the divorce proceeding, have wasted an entire day in Providence, and (because money is tight this matters) am putting an extra 100 miles on my car with the extra trip. I'm exhausted, and ready to be done.