2010.09.19
Days Remaining: 254

1. I'm back from the lovely Sea Isle City, NJ beach. I'm a bit sunburned (completely my own fault due to not properly applying sunblock), and tired, but the trip was really enjoyable and I had a lot of fun.

2. My drive southwards on Friday was an exercise in frustration, which thankfully did not augur anything at all for the weekend as a whole. In my attempt to avoid lateness, I left about an hour earlier than I would normally do, in order to have dinner with Barbatus and Livia (and their son, Caius).* But, as the best laid plans of mice are, so was mine. I ran into a traffic jam at New Haven (apparently on Fridays people in New Haven, CT get out of work en masse at approximately 1-130pm), then another one as I approached the George Washington Bridge in NYC. I am actually very fond of the GW, especially its upper level, and if traffic is moving smoothly, find that driving across it (especially at night in warm weather) an intensely pleasurable aesthetic experience. Most of the time, however, it's a royal pain in the tuckus. This time, it took me over an hour to travel approximately four miles, and once I was over the bridge and onto the New Jersey Turnpike, even at what was now quitting time on a Friday, I made great time. This, alas, conforms to my previous experience and leads to my working conclusion on crossing the GW: the bridge itself is the problem. The jam happens in getting over it, and is gone as soon as you cross. This has led me to a new plan for traveling southwards: I'm going to start using the Tappan Zee Bridge instead. I'm not sure if that will actually be any better, but the GW has been an enormous snag in travel time about 80% of the time in the past year's worth of traveling either south or north.

3. Once I got to Barbatus and Livia's house, we decided to drive into Princeton, NJ to have dinner (Livia and I ate at Panera Bread on Nassau Street, Barbatus and Caius having eaten before I arrived - Caius is a little over 2 years old, and needed to eat earlier while I was stuck in traffic). I took a class at Princeton back in my first year at UPenn, and have extremely fond memories of that semester (one of the happiest in my life), when I would take the train to Princeton each Thursday, participate in what was the single best seminar I was ever enrolled in, and then have dinner with Barbatus and Livia before catching a late train home to Philadelphia. Every part of it was good: I rode in with another student from Philadelphia (an archaeology grad student at Bryn Mawr), had the seminar, got to hang out in Princeton (often, but not always, in the bookstores) until either Barbatus or Livia picked me up, then got to spend the evening with two of my favorite people, then rode the train at my favorite time of day: late evening when the cars are mostly empty. As the semester ran on, I got into the habit of standing between cars (which you're not supposed to do) and feeling the warmer air flow past, looking at the landscape, and generally feeling like all was right with the world. Anyway, we ate our dinner on Friday night sitting on a bench by the cathedral on Princeton's campus, and it was lovely. The evening air got cooler, but I'm not dissuaded by cool air, and walking around campus, chasing after Caius (who loves to run), was a lot of fun.

4. Then I got on the road again around 830pm or so, and drove onwards. I'm not a fan of driving someplace completely new at night. The summer after I graduated from high school I went to a Longwood Garden fountains-and-fireworks display with my family and then-girlfriend. There was a thunderstorm, and after everyone left my girlfriend and I waited and walked through the Conservatory (one of my favorite places to walk). When we left, it was very foggy, and I got turned around leaving the parking lot, and we had to figure out how we had gotten lost and how to make our way back to Wilmington. I don't know if that is the source of my discomfort, but it always stands out as a point where I was very uncomfortable with not knowing where I was going in the dark (n.b., I have no trouble whatsoever getting lost and finding new ways to places during daylight hours). Anyway, on Friday night I made my way without mishap to Sea Isle City. The drive was made very pleasant by the moonlight, especially when there were no other cars around to provide light pollution. The strangest part of the drive was a visual encounter with...something. While relatively near Sea Isle City, on a stretch of road with heavy vegetation on either side of the highway, I drove past what I assume was a hitchhiker-hiker. What I saw, however, was a 6-7ft tall shape that seemed to be jogging (it was leaning forward at the top), clothed in extremely baggy attire. It basically flashed into and out of my vision in a second, but it was very jarring to suddenly register that I was not the only person on that stretch of road.

5. Sea Isle City is located, surprisingly, on an island, and as I drove closer to the beach house it became clear how very narrow the island is. The open ocean was on my left and the bay to my right, with a handful of houses to each side off the main road at each intersection. The summer's official end a few weeks ago has left the beach towns (excepting Atlantic City, which seemed to be hopping as I drove by its entrance roadway) largely depopulated, and so the final stretch of the trip was interestingly like moving into a ghost town. I arrived at the beach house around 11pm, was greeted at the door by my beloved niece and nephew, Iunia and Euander, did a quick tour (Iunia likes to show people around places), and then we all went to bed. I was very tired (I'm getting used to earlier bedtimes now), but couldn't sleep, and so I stayed up a bit to read my copy of the Evan Dorkin/Jill Thompson graphic novel Beasts of Burden (http://www.amazon.com/Beasts-Burden-Evan-Dorkin/dp/1595825134/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1284943883&sr=8-1), about a paranormal investigating society composed entirely of dogs and cats. Sounds silly, I know, but it's actually a horror series, and I discovered that many of its constituent stories are very, very sad.

5.2. On a sad note, my mom told me yesterday morning that my parents' next-door neighbor's dog, Christa, was euthanized last Monday (she had cancer). Christa was a 13 year old Scottish terrier who loved my parents from the moment they moved into that house, and she was a regular source of happiness to me over the summer as I was beginning to deal with giving up my dog, Herman. Her owner said that my parents' arrival was like a new lease on life for Christa, and I always took joy in the fact that she would run over to the porch whenever she saw any of us outside (sometimes she got so excited she'd come into the house, which was adorable). She loved carrots, and we had bags of baby carrots whose sole purpose was to be fed to Christa in the evenings. She was very sweet, and I know that her owner is feeling her absence terribly. I'll miss you, too, Chrissy. My ex-wife tells me that Herman, who is 12.5 years old, has had some trouble with one of his back legs the last week or so, wherein it seems to go to sleep when he's lying down, so that when he wakes up he can't put any weight on it. After a moment or two he's fine, but this is something new for him. I really miss him, and hope that he's okay. My handsome fellow (the word "guy" was used for the cats).

6. Saturday morning dawned bright and beautiful, with Euander coming in to wake me up (Iunia was waking up my parents). We all went to breakfast at local pancake house and then got suited up and headed to the beach. There were very few people there, but the weather was clear and warm, the water was very comfortable, and it was wonderful. My parents sat on folding chairs talking with my sister, Selena,** and her husband, Iunius. I went to walk in the water while the kids started building a sand castle (very cutely, they started right by the chairs, probably close to 75 ft uphill and inland from the waves, and then wanted to dig a canal to bring the water up to their moat). When they saw me walking in the breakers, the kids came down, and soon Iunius came too. We spent a few hours in the surf, and the kids loved it. I was very impressed by their enthusiasm for being in the water, especially because, given their small size, the waves were very big for them. They both liked jumping over/through the breakers, and eventually Iunia started doing a low-key kind of body surfing (she'd lay on the sand in a few inches of out-going water, and wait for the next wave to lift her and carry her inward). Selena got a boogie board from the beach house (it was not a good boogie board, btw - very flimsy) and Iunius and I got Iunia on that for several rides. Selena took pictures and video of it, and I can't wait to see them! Eventually we all went and sat on the folding chairs (my parents having gone back to the beach house) and I began working on the sand castle with the kids. Finally, we went in, just in time as the incoming tide began washing up to where our seats were (the tidal distance at Sea Isle City is astonishing, probably 100+ ft from low to high tides).

7. After getting cleaned up we went to have dinner at a local pizza shop, then went driving to find ice cream. This was harder than it might sound, as most of the ice cream places were closed for the season. We drove through several towns along the island's length, and finally found a place that is closing today (the 19th). That shop was on a strip by the boardwalk (I'm not sure which town it was in), where a "season's end" fair was going on, with a DJ playing dance music for kids. We went there and everyone danced for a while (though I refrained from the YMCA). Iunia and Euander are very enthusiastic dancers, currently enrolled in a Hip Hop dance class at the YMCA in Wilmington, and they were showing off their moves last night. Then we all headed back to the beach house to relax. Iunius watched a football game and we talked for a while, and then to bed.

8. This morning we got up, did laundry (sheets and towels), and then headed out around 10am. The trip back, to be aesthetically balanced, took about 6 hours (it should have taken four) due to New Jersey road construction on the Garden State Parkway, followed by bridge trouble again, and then heavy traffic on I-95 in Connecticut. I'm just not going to win the traveling thing, I think. Octavian, who is coming into town again for business, left NYC around 5pm, and called me close to 9pm to say that he was only just getting through Lyme, CT, so the traffic situation did not improve after I got off the road. On the upside, Octavian and I are having dinner tomorrow night, which will be good. Thai food: it's awesome.

9. The only other thing of note that I can think to mention is a follow-up from last week. I did not, in fact, file for divorce on Wednesday as I had planned. This was not, however, for lack of trying. I called the Rhode Island Family Court twice in preparation to make sure that I had everything I needed, and both times the persons with whom I spoke neglected to mention that I needed a copy of my marriage certificate. I suppose, in retrospect, that it makes sense I would need this, but when I asked them what documentation I should bring, both times they did not mention it. I've been paying taxes to the state of Rhode Island as a married person for several years now, so it didn't occur to me that they'd need proof of marriage. So tomorrow morning I go back up to finish the process. It's another 2 hours of traveling, round trip. Sigh.

10. So, overall, the weekend was lovely, and I'm very grateful to Selena and Iunius for having me along. I love seeing Iunia and Euander, and had a good time talking with my mom and dad. I had fun seeing Barbatus, Livia, and Caius, and good memories were awoken on Princeton's campus. The beach is, in my experience, always good, and I couldn't have asked for nicer weather. Sometimes, things just go well.



* This post will include many pseudonyms, which may give some more data to those who are trying to figure out what my silly naming system is.

** Selena self-selected her own name, so it's not an example of my system.