2011.02.16
103 Days Remaining

01. When I compose these posts I often find myself uncertain how to begin. I was talking with Belisarius yesterday on Gmail chat and thought about the fact that if one of us (via that medium) wants to talk with the other, they usually just send a message saying "Hey" (which is what I did yesterday). Beginnings are surprisingly difficult if you're either not comfortable (on any given day, or with life in general) or at all distracted. Actually, if you're distracted the problem is that beginnings are too easy, the more frivolous the endeavor or activity, the better. Also, as a serial procrastinator, I've often noticed that the actual procrastinating lies almost entirely in getting started: once work is underway, I have no trouble doing it.

02. Which is not to say that this blog is work, but I don't always feel like it's connecting with many people, and I often feel vaguely strange re-treading ideas and thoughts I've had on any given day (it feels either narcissistic or parochial). Does it really matter, for instance, that I am still dealing with the lingering infection from last week? That another professor and I were stood up for a presentation on Monday night by a student who couldn't get her schedule straight? That yesterday was bitterly cold when the wind blew, and the sun's light, though clear, was no match for it?

03. What do I think about, here all by myself for most of the day and night? Yesterday morning I woke up, completely and wide awake, at 313am (I could see the time on my alarm clock) and I spent the next three hours thinking. Thinking about everything from moment to moment. Ideas for stories, for essays, worries about everything from my back (which has been feeling strained lately) to Iunia growing up in our so very sexist society to the increasing variance between the wealthy and everyone else in our society, memories of a joke a student told, a passing thought about food, and so forth. All sort of swirled around in my head for hours and hours, and I never got back to sleep.

04. Random musical reference (not safe for work, though only in the latter third of the 10:16 song). This is Reggie Watts (a musician/comedian who is also the lead singer for the great soul-rock band Maktub; here's their song "You Can't Hide" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWgfl-E0v7g) and this song, "Thus Far," makes no sense (he does stream of consciousness performances, which shouldn't work but do) but is full of really funny lines: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0cp3eK9hI0 . There is one line, near the beginning, that is lovely to hear in sound terms: "want some treasure?/Here you go/at the end of the rainbow."

05. Despite yesterday's bitter cold, today was back into the 40s and sunny, and the temperature is supposed to stay warm (at least the upper 30s, and on one day into the 50s) for the next several days. I am starting to feel a strong desire for spring, as this particular winter hasn't been much fun (though I've had plenty of other winters where the weather is enjoyable - this year it's mostly been a pain - which probably more reflects my overall mood).

06. I'm going to Delaware on Friday morning, early (as in, leaving by 430am). Tonight I need to finish grading so my weekend is free, since I'll have to go to bed early tomorrow.